He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
