Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
