Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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