bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
