Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You're earring is so big in my mouth
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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