I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize