This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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