Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
