his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
