your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
