Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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