I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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