how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
