Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
