census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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