my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
