I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
