I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize