her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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