Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
