Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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