If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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