sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
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