I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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