This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
