I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
