:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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