Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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