going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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