it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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