just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i out mim tonsoeep
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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