its not stalking. its research.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize