Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
