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He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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