I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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