bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
