You're earring is so big in my mouth
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
