shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
