i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize