Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
