Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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