Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
