Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
