I want to make a zoo with you.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
