walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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