Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
