I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
