Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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