$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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