i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
