You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
