Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
