I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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