i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
