Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
