I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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