he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
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