For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
