I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize