Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
