That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
