Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
