pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
