so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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