if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
