my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
