So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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