12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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