if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
