i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
