i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
