She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
