haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
