bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
