yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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