last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
