What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm just crazy horny about you
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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